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At popular South Beach University, filthy rich super-snob Victoria English is the absolute queen of leading Greek student club, Sigma Sigma. In order to achieve her crowning ambition, winning FHM Magazine's annual best sorority, she must recruit atypical 'Sigmies' to fulfill the diversity criteria. Ambitious sycophant pledge Kristen Haas helps her attract 'losers' (too poor, ugly, unfashionable), who are cruelly put through excruciating hazing, without intent to actually enroll them. Gloria, the brightest and most assertive pledge, wins the heart of Derek 'baby Dick', Victoria's ideal, yet constantly abused boyfriend, whose bitch-addiction is cured by this alternative lover. Together they lead the revolt of the not-even-nerds.

• 
  William Heins
• 
  Matthew T. Weiner
• 
  Strathford Hamilton
• 
  Aaron Sadovsky

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  Paris Hilton
  Victoria English
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  Paula Garcés
  Gloria Torrez
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  Sarah Carter
  Kristen Haas
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  Simon Rex
  Derek
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  Geoffrey Arend
  Dax / Mother / Photographer
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  Alexis Thorpe
  Morgan
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  Bianca Lawson
  Monique
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  Amanda Aday
  Maxine
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  Kerri Kenney
  Kathy Johnson
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  Randy Spelling
  Kelly
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  Diva Zappa
  Babs Cohen
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  Holly Valance
  Jessica
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  Greg Cipes
  Reed
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  Sarai Howard
• 
  Noureen DeWulf
  Poo Poo
• 
  Amanda Rowan
  Trista
• 
  Mickey Mickey
  Heather
• 
  Ali Dee
  Tonya
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  Sofía Vergara
  FHM Hostess
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  Carmen Electra
  Carmen Electra